Hard Decisions
by crazy-cat-lady-chelsea
Summary: When Kyle gets two confessions at once, he comes up with a crazy idea. It may not be the best idea though as everything falls apart and he risks his friendships. Style, K2 with slight Candy, Stutters and Bunny. Rated M for language.


Hello everyone! I'm back! I know some of you are waiting for the new chapter of "I'm broken", but I felt like I needed to write something less dark right now. Apparently I'm kind of stupid and thought I had the next chapter mostly done but apparently it was the last chapter. Plus I lost all of my notes that had the whole outline of the story. *Sigh* I am officially starting to write the new chapter tomorrow, though. Keep messaging me to help me remember because I do tend to lose track of what I'm doing.

Sorry for the lack of updates, I was so busy with College! I'm now officially a Certified Veterinary Assistant, which I'm so excited about! I graduate in two weeks :)

This story is kind of pointless, really, but do read it if you want. Please correct me if there are spelling errors or grammar errors, again after reading it through multiple times, there will always be at least one mistake! My eyes unfortunately can't catch everything.

Please do **not** review if you have nothing nice to say. I do **not** take flames lightly and if you don't like boy x boy then please, leave right now because this is your warning!

I do not own South Park, or the characters.

...

"_Kyle, I like you!" Kenny and Stan's voices say at the exact same time._

_Whoa, how did I somehow get two confessions at once? During my 16 years of life I have never gotten a single confession and now all of a sudden I'm getting two at the same time._

"_Go out with me, please."_

"_No, go out with me, Kyle!"_

_This is how all of this drama and confusion started. Oh my, what to do?_

…

I throw myself on my bed, rolling onto my back and stare at the ceiling with a million thoughts running through my head. My life suddenly changed a week ago when my super best friend and my other close friend confessed their feelings towards me.

Of course I'm flattered by their feelings and I'll admit I'm attracted to guys, I think, but how do I deal with this? I've never been good when it comes to love and relationships. The closest thing I've had is a kiss from Bebe during a game of Truth or Dare, and then Rebecca, which I was too young to even really know what I was doing.

Stan and Kenny. They're both good looking, but complete opposites. In my mind I begin to compare them, hopefully helping me make the decision of which one to choose.

Stan is sweet and caring meanwhile Kenny is passionate and experienced. Stan has jet-black hair that is as dark as night while Kenny's golden hair shines like the sun. Both have blue eyes, but Stan's are sapphire like and Kenny's are sky blue. Stan is slightly taller with more upper body strength, and I could imagine myself running my hands over his strong biceps. Kenny is slender but has strong legs, which I could also imagine running my hands over. Stan, as strange as it sounds, is quite shy and Kenny isn't shy about anything.

_Ugh, this is too confusing, I think they're both attractive and deserve a chance to be with me. Maybe I could go out with both and decide from there?_

"That's it, I'll get an agreement from both of them…that both of them will date me…for now anyway."

I reach in my pocket and pull out my phone, sending a short text to both of them, hoping they receive it shortly.

_Sent to: Stan and Kenny_

_Come over to my house as soon as you get this._

_Kyle._

I await their arrival by lying on my bed, still going over this crazy idea of mine. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear the doorbell ring. I hop off the bed to get the door, revealing a confused looking Stan and Kenny. Both glare at each other for a split second before sending me those heavenly smiles of theirs.

"Hey guys! Come on in." Kenny pushes Stan out of the way to be the first one inside. That would be what Kenny would do...

"Why is Stan here?" Kenny asks, rolling his eyes and pointing at him, not even bothering to look at him while asking.

"I could ask the same thing to you Kenny." Stan angrily spits, crossing his arms.

"Guys, chill. Listen…I've been thinking about your confessions and I have made my mind up about what I'm going to do."

They both stare at me, waiting to continue with my words. They both have hopeful looks in their eyes and I can't help but feel bad for what I'm about to say.

"You chose me, right?" Stan's voice holds emotion and I can see in his eyes he really wants me to pick him.

"No way! It has to be me. I'm way hotter than you, dude." Kenny states with a smug expression but also looking like he really wants me to pick him.

"No. I choose…" I pause, leaving them in suspense, "Both of you…" I gauge their reactions, both of them looking puzzled.

"What?" Both of them ask at the same time.

"I mean…I can't choose between you two…I want to go out with both of you to see who I'm better matched with. I know it sounds crazy..."

"Oh, this should be easy for me then." Kenny's gaze moves over to Stan, obviously trying to make him nervous.

"But, this has to be fair…and there has to be some rules. Kissing is fine, and touching, but no sex, not even going to second base. Got it?" I roll my eyes as Kenny pouts and lets out a groan.

"That's so not fair, that's what I'm best at." I give him a stern look and he throws up his hands in defeat.

"It sounds fair…I'll agree to it." Stan finally decides to speak and gives me a small smile, making me flush a bit.

"Fine, I'll do it to. May the best man win, Marsh. And that man will be _me_." Kenny winks at me, making me flush even more.

"I have to go. See you tomorrow at school, Kyle." He walks over to me and gives me a swift hug, his arms tightly around my shoulders. Before I can return the hug, he releases me and I notice a frown on his face before he leaves.

"What a loser." Kenny walks up to me and I smack him on the head, not too roughly though.

"Shut up, Kenny. He's still my best friend." No matter what happens, Stan will always be my super best friend, and Kenny may not understand, but he'll always be number one to me.

"Fine, fine. How about…we have a date tomorrow after school?" He whispers into my ear, a seductive tone to it.

"Um…sure." He pecks my cheek before leaving as well. I bring my hand up to touch the spot he just kissed, my cheek burning hot.

My body is still warm from Stan's hug and my face is burning off from Kenny's kiss. _Oh man, this isn't going to be easy_.

…

The next day at school I've been receiving a lot of attention from the two boys who are competing for my love. From flirty smiles to subtle touches, mostly from Kenny. I'm a bit surprised that Stan hasn't done too much, seeing as he begged for me to go out with him.

"Okay class, so get in pairs and start working on the assignment." The teacher instructs before sitting back down to do some paper work. There's a mug on the desk he keeps drinking from, and I can bet that is isn't just coffee.

I immediately rush over to my super best friends desk and he looks up to give me a sweet smile. Partner assignment? Stan and I always work together. This is going to be awesome!

"Hey! Want to be partners?" Just as he opens his mouth to respond to my question I feel a hand grab my arm and I'm spun around to be face to face with Kenny.

"So Kyle, we're partners!"

"Kenny I'm asking Stan to be my partner…"

"I won't take no for an answer." He yanks my arm and drags me back to his desk. I look over my shoulder and give Stan an apologetic look while he gives me a dejected expression. _Poor Stan_...

"Kenny, that was kind of rude, don't you think?" I say while taking a seat beside him, still looking out of the corner of my eye at Stan.

"Dude, this is a competition! If Stan wants you badly enough he would have said something." While I think he's being a jerk, he is right.

"_Fine_, but we're working on the assignment, no fooling around." He runs his hand over my thigh, moving it closer to my private parts.

"Fags! Stop groping each other in the class." Craig shouts out and I feel my face start to burn from getting caught. I look around to see a few people staring at the lewd action from Kenny. I give Kenny a glare, telling him to remove his hand before I hit him. Surprisingly enough he takes his hand off of my thigh and throws his hands up in defeat.

"Okay, okay."

As we continue to work on the assignment I can't help but take another look at Stan who is now paired with Cartman. Stan lays his head on his desk as I see Cartman blabbering on about something, his hands flailing in the air dramatically. Regret soars through my body and I really want to go over to him and apologize. _We always work on projects together..._

…

Lunchtime rolls around quickly and it's no shock that I end up sitting with Stan and Kenny, with Cartman joining us, which makes me a bit nervous seeing as Cartman is somewhat of a homophobe. Or acts like one anyway. Whether he actually means what he says or not, I'm not quite sure, but he can be extremely rude and he's a big guy so I don't want to set him off.

"So, I was like…Screw you, I'm going home and he was like…" I nod off a bit as Cartman rambles on about some fight he and some other kid had.

I jump a bit when I feel Stan place a hand on my knee, rubbing it gently. We turn our heads to each other and our eyes lock. I put my hand over top of his and give it a squeeze. Finally Stan is making some effort, which makes me incredibly happy. Warmth spreads where his hand is and my body feels like it's on fire.

"Cartman, you're a dumbass." Kenny states while he places his hand on my other knee. Stan gives him a harsh glare while Kenny leers back at him, both of their hands gripping my knee tighter.

"So, Kyle…about our date, we have a spare class this afternoon, why don't we just skip the whole afternoon then?" He whispers into my ear, trying to be as quiet as possible so Stan doesn't hear.

I shift around to face Kenny, Stan's hand falls off of my knee and the warmth that was there from his hand has disappeared from the loss of contact.

"Kenny, I am not skipping. We weren't even supposed to go out until after school, so no." He gives me a hurt look, but I don't fall for his attempted puppy eyes. Now Stan can do sad puppy eyes, and I could easily fall for them. I hope he doesn't use them, or else it'll be impossible for me to say no. I turn back to Stan and Cartman and start the conversation back up.

Suddenly Kenny stands up and leaves the cafeteria. Obviously he's upset I said no to having our date early but when Stan wraps his arm around my waist, hidden from Cartman's view I forget all about it.

I lean in to Stan's warmth and Cartman has seen enough of our closeness for being 'super best friends' so he gets up and leaves as well, leaving me and Stan alone.

…

For the rest of the afternoon, Kenny is nowhere to be found, and I must have really upset him about refusing to go with him. Why is it so hard for him to understand I don't want to skip class?

He can be overdramatic sometimes and usually he gets over it quickly but for him to avoid me is quite unusual. As much as I don't want to, I part ways with Stan and head home. I kick at the snow, watching the white fluff with tired eyes. This whole idea of mine was stupid. Stan and Kenny used to be good friends and now all they do is compete with each other, mostly for my attention.

"Hello Bubbalah. How was school?" My mom asks with a cheery grin when I step inside.

"Ah, fine…"

"Oh, that doesn't sound too good. Did you get a bad mark? Kyle, you better not have gotten into trouble, young man or your father and I will have to -"

"Mom, I didn't get in trouble. I didn't get a bad mark, either. Just friend drama."

"Well don't let it affect your school work. Is it with Stanley?"

"Kind of." _Oh mom, if only you knew..._

"Sweetheart, he's your best friend. Don't let silly things ruin that, okay? There's always one person in your life you can count on most. Other than your parents, of course. I know how much he means to you." Her hand rubs my shoulder comfortingly.

"Thanks mom…yeah." I make it seem like she's helped me, even though Stan and I aren't fighting at all. It's the opposite actually.

"I'm going up to my room…" Before I get the chance to head upstairs, the doorbell rings and I groan out loud, not really wanting to answer it.

"Kyle, could you get the door?" My mom shouts from the kitchen.

"Fine!" I swing the door open only to reveal Kenny standing there with a bouquet of flowers. I don't know much about flowers, except the fact they're red. Red. My favourite colour. With some hesitation, I decide to take the flowers from his hands before looking at him with curiosity.

"What, you think I'm a girl who needs flowers?" I snort.

"I was stupid. I know I got mad for no reason. I know you like this colour, so…are we cool?"

I couldn't help but burst out in laughter. "Dude, I wasn't even mad at you. I was wondering where the hell you disappeared to, though. But thank you, these will look nice in our living room." For the first time, Kenny actually looks nervous about something.

"Do…do you want to maybe go grab a bite to eat? Maybe go see a movie?"

"S-sure. Just let me go put these in some water first." I head inside, grab a vase and fill it with some water before putting them in. Red. Some say it's the colour of love. I feel my face heat up at that word, but for some reason, Kenny isn't the one I'm thinking about when I think of that word.

"Mom, I'm going out with Kenny for a while!"

"Don't be home too late, young man!" I roll my eyes at my moms demand, but this is nothing new. I grab my jacket and hat and give Kenny a small smile as we head outside.

We walk in silence for a few minutes before I feel his hand gently holding mine. There's no way I couldn't smile at this. He's being so gentle, I thought he would be pulling me somewhere to make out. Maybe he is actually taking this seriously, and isn't just being a horny pervert.

...

We eat at small, cheap restaurant and order hamburgers and fries. I'm surprised when Kenny offers to pay because he isn't known to have much money. The gesture is very sweet, though.

"Thank you." Is the only thing I say before we head over to the theater. We arrive quite early as the movie doesn't start for another hour but we chill in the lobby and play some of the video games. Kenny is extremely competitive so I make sure he doesn't play too much or he'll be pissed off for the movie.  
"This game is bullshit!" He shouts out, hitting the game roughly. One of the workers eyes us and I grab him to pull him away, laughing at how childish he's being.

The movie really doesn't have a lot of plot to it. Loud explosions, car races and lots of girls in barely any clothing. But it's exciting and once again I'm surprised Kenny isn't drooling over the girls in the film. At one point, he reaches over and throws his arm around my shoulder. This movie doesn't exactly equal romantic setting, but he leans over and pecks me on the cheek. The spot where he kissed is burning and I feel my heart beat speed up incredibly fast.

When the movie is over and we step outside, it's snowing just lightly. _Romantic_, I think to myself and I turn around to comment but Kenny leans in and places his lips on mine. The movement leaves me in shock for a moment before I can actually respond. One hand grips my waist while his other take my hat off and sweeps through my hair. I grab onto his arms, holding them tightly. I feel his tongue sweep across the seam of my lips, but I keep them closed and don't allow him entry.

When we part, we're both breathing heavily and he rests his forehead against mine.

I was the one who suggested this competition. If I really did think I liked Kenny, then why did that kiss not feel right?

...

The next two weeks Kenny is all over me at school. Whether it's kissing me on the lips or cheek, his arm around my shoulder or waist, or his hand holding mine. Stan seems to have given up because he hasn't touched me since that day in the cafeteria. It makes me sad, because I love Stan. I really do. Whether as a best friend or more, he really is someone I truly love. Kenny is extremely passionate towards me though and is showing me he's completely serious about this.

Every time he kisses me in front of Stan, I always manage to catch him staring over at us with the saddest look you could imagine. His eyes are always droopy and red, his cheeks are always tear stained and he never smiles anymore. It breaks my heart to see him like this. Kenny's tongue is currently trying to push it's way into my mouth and I have to push his chest to get him off of me.

"Dude, _stop_. No tongue." Kenny rolls his eyes and gives me a final peck on the lips before walking away. We have been on quite a few dates and he's tried to go further than kissing at multiple points but i always remind of the rules I set when this competition began.

"Ugh, you guys are fucking disgusting." Cartman uses his shoulder to push me out of the way before making his way over to Wendy. I'm pretty sure they are kind of dating now and it still grosses me out that anyone would go out with the fatass. She giggles at something before grabbing onto his arm.

I know Wendy and Stan dated for a bit and I truly believe some part of him does still like her and he hates seeing her with Cartman. Maybe it's just the thought of her being happier with Cartman than she was with him.

"Hey, are you and Kenny dating?" A small, quiet voice breaks me from my staring at Cartman. _Thank God_.

"Hm, oh hey Butters…" Butters has his hands fiddling together, looking down at the ground, "Uh, I guess so." I don't really know what to say.

"Oh hamburgers…okay, I just wanted to know. S-see you later." He leaves me standing here, confused. My stomach rumbles and I toss my head back and groan, only one more class until lunch. Now I feel like Cartman.

The lecture is boring, and even though I love school this teacher is the worst. His voice is monotone, he doesn't allow questions, he smells and worst of all he doesn't even know what he's talking about half of the time. I know more than this idiot. Kenny keeps passing little notes to me, since he sits right beside me. They make my face heat up mostly because they're perverted. Maybe I was wrong, maybe all he does want is sex. He might be being nice so I will sleep with him. I look back to see Stan and Butters whispering something to each other and my jealousy flares up at how close they are.

_Stop Kyle, you're with Kenny now_. I keep telling myself, even though it's practically a lie. We really aren't together. Neither of us has officially asked the other out yet.

When lunch time rolls around, Kenny and I are sitting at a table with Cartman, Craig, Clyde, Token and Tweek. Kenny has his arm possessively around my waist and Cartman seems to be the only one who has a problem with us. The others don't seem to give a shit. I gobble my sandwich down and I only realize now that Stan is nowhere to be found. _Could he be avoiding me?_ Almost the entire lunch is spent arguing with Cartman and almost starting a fist fight with him, but Kenny holds me back. Why the hell are we still friends with him anyway?

When lunch time is almost done and there is still no sign of Stan, I start to worry. I want to go look for him but Kenny is following me around like a puppy. And there's no way I can say I want to go look for Stan or else Kenny will get all jealous and possessive again and it can get a bit annoying. I turn to him and whisper into his ear.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I lie.

"I'll go with you."

"Kenny, just let me go alone." He eyes me suspiciously but finally backs off. I leave the cafeteria, but not before glancing back to see Kenny watching me while the others are minding their own business. I wander the halls, I check outside quickly but there is still no sign of Stan. Maybe he's in the bathroom? It couldn't hurt to check. I rush to the closest bathroom and poke my head in to find it empty. Guess I'll check the other one. When I get to the other one I hear mumbling coming from inside. It sounds like there are two people. _Stan_. I could recognize his voice even through a wall. I enter as quiet as possible and poke my head around the corner.

I have to hold back a gasp and my heart drops at what I witness. Butters is standing there with his arms around Stan's neck, while Stan has his close to Butters ass. Their lips are locked. Silent moans are echoed through the bathroom and I take my leave as quickly and as quietly as possible. What the hell? What the hell was that? Stan hasn't touched me in a while but he'll touch Butters?

_Is he in love with Butters now?_

_What the actual fuck?_

Jealousy and anger course through my body as I storm down the hall before heading to my locker. Class starts soon so I decide to grab my books. A hand touches my shoulder and I jump only to find out it's Kenny. I can't stop picturing Stan and Butters making out. I take a glance down the hall to see Stan and Butters on their way to their own lockers. Stan's eyes peer over at me and my blood is still boiling from jealousy so I decide to take matters into my own hands. I throw my books back into my locker, grab Kenny's shoulders and push him against the locker beside mine. I smash my lips onto his, rubbing my hands against his chest while I forcefully shove my tongue into his mouth, which he seems to have no problem with.

He responds with just as much passion and his hands find their way to my butt, giving it a rough squeeze. Even in the heated moment I reach back and take his hands off before pinning his hands against the locker. When we pull away for air, I look over at Stan to find him rolling his eyes at me. _That's it?_ That was his reaction? He's pissing me off.

One day he's totally depressed and now he's getting over me by making out with _Butters_? My feet take me over towards him and before I know it my fist connects with his cheek. It's not hard to enough to break anything but it's hard enough to knock him backwards.

"What the _fuck_? What the hell, Kyle?" He screams, glaring at me.

After a minute of calming down, I realize what I just did and I look around to find everyone in the halls with their mouths wide open. Some in shock, some in horror, some possibly finding the make out session arousing. I even hear some girls squealing. What the hell just came over me?

I stare at Stan, who has his hand covering his probably painful cheek. I want to throw myself at his knees and apologize so he doesn't hate me but instead I walk back towards Kenny, grab my books, then his hand and race towards the classroom.

_What am I doing?_

….

The next two days are terrible, things have only gotten worse. Not only is Stan not paying attention to me but now he won't even look at me. His expression towards me now is somewhere in between anger and depression. His cheek has now turned into a blue-purple colour. _Oh crap, I feel terrible about that_. Thank God tomorrow is Saturday, maybe by Monday things will work themselves out and we can talk again. Probably not, I punched him. That was awful of me. The rest of the school day drags on and on.

It's Sunday and Kenny comes over and takes me out for lunch. The conversation is awkward because he knows something is going on. I play around with the food on my plate, not taking my eyes off of it. Ugh, I don't feel like eating at all. Maybe I should have declined his offer.

"So, what happened the other day?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Nothing."

"Dude, clearly something happened. You punched your _best friend_." He says the best friend part with a hint of disdain.

"I just saw something. I'm mad at him. Just leave it alone."

"Okay…" My eyes meet his curious yet suspicious eyes.

The conversation ends there, thankfully he doesn't push it anymore. He walks me home and leans in to press a soft kiss against my cheek. Clearly he wants more, but I just wave him off and head into my house. Before the door closes I notice Kenny with a rejected look on his face, but right now I don't care about anything. Poor Kenny, I have to remember to apologize for the way I'm acting later.

I ignore my mom when she asks me something as I make my way up the stairs. I do however catch her saying something about me being ungrateful and that I should never ignore my parents.

"Kyle, want to play video games with me?" Ike catches me before I slam the door to my room. He's smiling at me, holding out his favourite video game.

"Sorry, Ike, I'm not feeling too good." I lie. Like I'm going to explain what is going on with my younger brother.

"Aw, you don't play with me anymore."

"How about I play with you tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine...Kyle?"

"Yeah, bro?"

"Are you okay? You seem off lately." He catches me off guard, but I should have realized he would notice something. He's a genius.

"You'll understand when you're older." I reach out and ruffle his hair before pulling him in for a hug. We break apart and he looks up at me with innocent eyes.

"Okay. Talk to me if you want to, though. I know you don't like talking to mom when it comes to these kinds of things." My mouth opens in shock. He really _is_ a genius and I can't help but chuckle at his words.

I wish I was his age again, when things weren't this complicated.

...

Monday turns out to be no better like I thought it might. I actually don't see Stan at all. Not during classes, or at lunch or any time during the breaks. Kenny actually keeps his distance from me, probably knowing that it's best to leave me alone for a bit. I'm surprised because usually I can't keep Kenny off of me. After school, I sit outside on the bench all by myself.

"Want to hang out tonight?" Kenny comes over and sits beside me, placing a hand on my thigh.

"No…sorry, Ken." He just nods at me and leaves, not before giving my cheek a quick kiss. I smile at him and this is the first time I've smiled for real in quite a while. Just as I'm about to get up to go home, Cartman shows up slightly out of breath. That's not hard seeing as he's overweight but he actually has a concerned look on his chubby face.

"You get better go see your other faggy boyfriend. Pretty sure I saw him about to jump off of that bridge near Stark's Pond."

"_What_!? Are you serious!?" I don't waste anymore time with him before I start sprinting in the direction of Stark's Pond. Jump off of the bridge? That water is freezing and the drop isn't huge but still...The thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach and I suddenly feel dizzy. I stop when I see the familiar blue and red hat that's hiding that beautiful, dark hair and the all familiar chocolate brown jacket. He's just standing there, not moving but it seems he is deep in thought.

"Stan! What the fuck? _Suicide_?" I grab him from behind and pull him away from the edge. My chest feels like it's on fire from running here, but I don't care, as long as Stan is safe.

"What? What are you talking about?" He asks with a hint of disdain in his voice, but doesn't even glance at me.

"Cartman…he…he said…" My chest heaves as I attempt to catch my breath, but I refuse to let go of him, "you were going to kill yourself."

"And you believed him? Kyle, I'm not going to kill myself." He turns around in my grip and tries to pry my arms from around his waist, but I keep them in an iron grip, still refusing to let go.

"B-but you seemed so depressed lately…Stan…please don't…"

"Yeah, because you've been ignoring me. And you fucking _punched_ me. My best friend _hates_ me, why wouldn't I be upset?"

"Why did you kiss Butters?" There's a moment of silence and I must have caught him off guard.

"Wait, you saw that?

"Yes, I saw that! It pissed me off, Stan. It's bullshit, I thought you liked _me_…" Silence surrounds us once again before he pulls my head away from his chest and the next thing I know my cheek is burning with pain. My arms continue to stay around him but I look up at him and his expression has gone from upset to pissed off. _He slapped me..._

"Listen to yourself. You came up with this stupid plan, act like you like both of us, stopped paying attention to me and focused all on Kenny and then get mad when I kiss someone else when I have to watch you make out with Kenny. You've hurt me in the process. Do you love him that much, Kyle? To risk ruining your friendship with me?"

"Butters is upset, too. He's totally in love with Kenny. Both of us were hurt and we were just comforting one another. Don't make me feel bad about kissing him. I love you, Kyle. I _really_ do. I can't stop thinking about you. When you came up with that plan, I was excited, because I could show you how much you mean to me. I can't compete with Kenny, though. I'm not like that. I want you to be _mine_, I want you to be with me, not _both_ of us."

"You're selfish Kyle. That whole plan was so you didn't have to make a decision. Not to find out who you liked." Ouch. His words sting.

By now tears are pouring down my face from guilt, from using both of them to satisfy my own needs without even considering theirs. That slap in the face was just what I needed. A wake up call. Both of us stay silent for a moment before I finally let go of him, rubbing my eyes and my nose on the sleeve of my jacket.

"You're right…the idea was absolutely ridiculous. I'm so sorry…." I sob out, putting everything I have into the apology because I truly mean it. And I want him to know I mean it, too. "I-It was stupid. I don't know why I did it. I was confused. I feel horrible, Stan. This has to be one of the worst things I've ever done…"

"Do you love him?" He asks abruptly.

"No…" There's no hesitation as I answer him swiftly.

"Do you…um….love me?" I look up at him in disbelief that he actually asked me that. His voice cracked when he just asked that. Does he actually believe I don't care about him? I don't blame him, though, I would have the same doubts he has if I were him.

"Yeah…I love you, Stan. I love you so much." I break down again, covering my mouth with my gloved hand, attempting to stop the choking from my sobs. What the hell did I put him through? I feel so selfish. I _am_ selfish. Just like Stan said. Stan moves towards me and wraps his strong, warm arms around me. One arm is around my waist while his other hand rubs my back soothingly.

"I'm _so_ sorry. I'm sorry….I'm _sorry_, Stan…" I mumble into his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his back tightly and I squeeze him against me. "Please don't hate me…I can't live without you."

"Kyle…I forgive you. I get it. We all make mistakes." This is why I love him. I managed to be the biggest asshole and yet he still forgives me.

"Please be with me…" I feel like I'm practically begging him. This feels so right. I should have listened to my first instincts at the beginning. I knew my mind and my heart chose Stan even before he confessed to me.

"If you break up with him properly, then yeah…" I nod, knowing he's right. Now I'm going to end up breaking Kenny's heart and he doesn't deserve that. No more words are spoken as we are content with just holding each other, snowflakes gently falling down from the sky.

….

I feel like a whole new person the next day at school. It may be hard to do this to Kenny, but it's the right thing to do and Kenny deserves the truth. When I see Stan at his locker I can't help but smile to myself and I know that my cheeks are dusted pink with a blush. It surprises me when I don't see Kenny at his locker but suddenly an arm is thrown around my waist and I'm pulled up against Kenny's side. _Oh shit_, I think to myself. I try to move away subtly but he keeps a firm grip on me.

"So, date tonight?" He whispers seductively into my ear. I pry his arm off of me and take his hand in mine, looking at him with as serious look as I can muster.

"Ken, we need to talk after school." The minute the sentence leaves my lips, his face drops. He already knows what I want to say. He doesn't say anything more as he goes to his locker, grabs his books and runs off. Stan was absolutely right, this was stupid. Now I've hurt Kenny as well.

I need to make this right. I'm going to break his heart but I can't keep pretending to have feelings for him.

…

"So, you finally decided to break up with me, huh?" I turn around to see Kenny standing there, cigarette in hand. I know he only smokes when he's really upset, angry or stressed.

"Ken…" I start, looking around to make sure no one was around.

"I knew from the beginning it was always Stan."

"Then…why…?"

"Why did I put the moves on you?" He chuckles at himself before continuing, "because I thought that maybe if I did, you would end up falling for me instead. I could see nothing was working. And even though you were fine kissing me, you would never let me go further."

"Kenny, I don't know what to say…"

"Would you have gone further than kissing if we continued going out?" I feel awful but I shake my head slowly, "What about _Stan_? Would you go further than kissing with him?" My eyes shift away from him and I don't even need to give him an answer. "I thought so."

"Kenny, I am _so_ sorry. Stan…he told me what he thought of all of this. Actually, this," I point to my bruised cheek, "is from him. I know it sounds stupid. But what he said, and the slap…woke me from what seems to be some crazy dream. He knocked some sense into me. He was right. It was because I didn't want to make a decision. I took the easy way out."

"I really am sorry, Kenny. I do hope we can still be friends." I walk up to him and notice there are tears spilling from the corner of his eyes. Not knowing what would be appropriate at this time, I reach out and rub his arm for just a moment before walking off, shoving my hands in my pockets and heading into the school to grab my books and to find Stan. That was awful, I could see his heart breaking in front of my eyes just like I saw Stan's break at the beginning of all of this.

"Hey…how did it go?" Stan's gentle voice asks from behind me.

"I did it." And that's all I say. I don't even look at him. Stan knows what I mean, he knows it wasn't fun, or easy to break someone's heart. And that I did keep my promise to end it with him.

We end up walking home together and I keep looking down at his hand, wondering if it would be alright to reach over and grab it. I don't have any time to debate with myself anymore as he grabs my hand first. We smile gently at each other, enjoying the silent walk home. I look up at the sky and for the first time in a while, my life feels right.

"So…." He starts as we reach his house.

"Can we be together now?" I look into those sweet, innocent eyes and wait for my answer. I don't know if I should have waited a few more days before asking, but there's no way I can wait that long to know.

"…Yeah." He glances around, maybe to make sure no one is around before he leans down and places his lips on mine. I gasp for only just a slight second before kissing him back. One of his hands rests on my hip while the other runs through my hair under my hat. My hands rest on his shoulders for a moment before reaching for his neck, linking at the back of it and pulling his head as close as humanly possible to mine. His tongue pokes at my lips and I don't waste any time before opening my mouth enough for him. Every square inch of my mouth is explored and I make sure to intertwine my tongue with his.

"I love you." I moan into his mouth.

"I love you, too." He breathes into mine. We kiss gently for a few minutes before pulling apart, our arms still wrapped around each other.

"Kyle, want to stay at my house for a bit?" I nod, kissing him on the cheek before grabbing his hand and pull him towards his house.

I still have an ache in my heart from what I did to Kenny but I couldn't keep that act up. This kiss with Stan felt so right. And bit by bit, my heart will be healed from the guilt.

….

The next few days at school have been great. Stan and I are super best friends again, but our relationship has progressed greatly and things have been going so smoothly. It's like Stan and I were meant to be together. Kenny still hasn't really talked to me and I only get the occasional half smile from him now and then, but I know he will talk to me soon. Stan apparently talked to Kenny and it seems so far they are on pretty good terms, seeing as before they used to compete for everything.

Stan and I are sitting so close that our sides are flushed up together as we eat our lunch. Cartman lets out a grunt of disapproval from the other table but I have learned that Cartman isn't really that grossed out because we always still talk to him and he does clearly care about us. I grab a grape from Stan's lunch and pop it in his mouth. I wrap my arms around Stan's shoulders and kiss his cheek multiple times. I've never been this happy in my life and it seems like I can't stop touching Stan. Whether it's hugging, kissing or holding hands, we're inseparable now, even more so than when we were just super best friends.

"Hey guys." Kenny's voice makes me remove my arms from Stan and we both turn in our seats to see Kenny standing there with his lunch.

"K-Kenny….hey!" I smile at him and Stan I shift apart slightly so there is some space between us.

"You guys can touch if you want. I don't care." Ouch, those words make it sound like he's somewhat angry still. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"...Of course!" This is great! Maybe now we can all hang out again, just like we used to. The day Kenny completely forgives me will be the day I can finally feel at ease again.

"Actually, Ken, I think I know someone who would really appreciate your company." I look over at Stan and see him grinning. Oh, right!

"What, what are you guys talking about?" I meet Stan's eyes for a split second before both of us shift our gaze over to the table where Butters is sitting alone. It takes Kenny a moment to figure out what we are doing but when he realizes where we're looking, he smiles at both of us and heads over to the almost empty table. When Butters sees Kenny approaching, the smile on his face is a smile you could never forget.

I can't help but smile at the scene between them. As much as I want Kenny to talk to me again, his heart also needs some healing. And Butters innocence and his love for Kenny will definitely eventually heal him.

"I hope something happens between those two. Butters _really_ likes him." Stan states before nudging my shoulder with his.

We walk down the hall to our afternoon classes with our arms around each others waists and our books in the other. Stan smirks at me and I feel his hand going a bit lower. I pull away slightly, chuckling at his attempt to be perverted.

"You're _not_ Kenny." The words seem to hurt him and I immediately regret them because I know he took them the wrong way.

"I mean you aren't perverted. I don't like perverts."

"Oh." He simply states but smiles at me to let me know he understands what I mean. I can't help but think his efforts were absolutely adorable. He isn't perverted. He loves me. I know he wouldn't do anything I didn't want to do.

"Oh, fine. Go ahead." His cheeks turn a beautiful shade of red before his hand ventures down to my butt, giving it a very soft squeeze before he puts his hand in my back pocket, keeping it there. I chuckle, but the feeling is actually very nice. For once I decide to let it go. My arm wraps around his waist once again as we continue walking to our class. We stop before reaching our classroom and I can't help but think of the last few weeks and everything that has gone on. I made mistakes but I have amazing friends who have forgiven me and I got an amazing boyfriend out of it, too.

Stan seems to know what I'm thinking about, and he grabs a hold of my hand. We share a smile before leaning in at the same time for a kiss. It's just a simple kiss, a chaste kiss but just the meeting of our lips is enough to send my heart racing and to send me to cloud nine.

I feel like in the last few weeks I have changed. That plan was absolutely selfish. I _was_ selfish. I have my best friend to thank for making me see that I was wrong. I also learned to always trust your first instinct because it often turns out to be right.

...

Anyways, there you go! Like I said, I don't even know where this idea came from and it's kind of pointless. Not really proud of this one but hey, I felt like I needed to give you guys something. I actually started this one a long time ago and just decided to finish it. If you guys want I can do some smut for a second chapter. There won't be smut in "I'm Broken" for a long time so if you need a fill of smut, let me know!

So hope you all will check out the new chapter of "I'm broken" when I post it. Hopefully it will be up within a week, but possibly two (knowing me it'll be almost two weeks)

Thanks guys, you're the best!


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